#9: how to chew the fat

like a good stew, this blog entry has been flavoring itself up for the past couple of months. but don't get any ideas. it still might be too salty or darkly-humored for some of you. if that happens to be the case, and you don't understand or like dark humor, sarcasm, or liberocrat(ish) opinionisms - then i hope your eyes don't fall out after reading this. you communist.

i know that by saying SMusings was on a hiatus, i'm really saying that i haven't been interesting enough for the last two months. and that's slightly true, but slighlty untrue as well. my last idea for a blog post was going to be about how i prefer to write my blogs in notepad rather than in microsoftword.

do i care why? you ask. well - i'll tell you anyway.

notepad in many aspects is like an ikea furniture item. chiefly because of its simplicity and being designed for noobs. whereas, i imagine a microsoftword user to be that person in ikea who is loud-talking about how they'll be purchasing real granite-countertops, rather than faux granite-countertops, because of the durabilty and luxuriousness.

so, being intrigued, you look in their basket and are unsurprised to find that it only contains a $1 chocolate bar and a $2 pack of 2AA batteries. i guess they're saving up for their countertops, you mutter.


saturday musings

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#8: how dog poo can be interesting

there are a lot of things that people hate. but there are only a few things in life that we can all agree on hating. things like: bad drivers, wine and cheese breath, racists, sarahjessicaparker's face, the government... and of course, the show 'toddlers and tiaras'.

watching that show was actually less interesting than watching my dog have a poo. well, it wasn't so much uninteresting as it was - wrong. i felt bad for the kids, you know? having to prance around half naked in front of their (ironically fatugly) parents and judges-who look like registered sex offenders. even the amount of make-up on their little faces would be enough to fancy up an entire cirque du soleil cast. and the skills? since when has baton twirling been a skill? calling baton twirling a skill is like calling rodeo a sport.

point being - i hate these pageants. i hate the parents for turning their kids into little, perverted versions of themselves. kids don't usually get a choice and it's sad to see some of them having to grow up doing that kind of thing. and only for their parents to feel better about themselves, barely. but if i'm wrong and there is a point to little kid beauty pagents, i still don't care. because i know that my parents let me like what i liked, when i was growing up. and that made me very creative and kept me truly happy. which i still appreciate entirely.

child pageants may be small and insignificant compared to the other major things we can hate together - but it's what i chose to muse about this time. and maybe i shouldn't say 'hate'. they're just something that i really don't like, a lot. and it's a parent's choice, i know. but isn't there anything better to choose? like ballerina classes or the taliban or something?

listen. in the end, child pageants are fantastically weird and hugely pointless. plus, why on earth would anyone want their kid to be less interesting than dog excrement? unless you're a stupid, of course.

shamefully yours,

saturday musings

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