#14: how to get off your high horse

being humble is difficult, but especially difficult if you're an A lister. and with actors like charlie sheen who label their wrong-doings as 'personal choice' and still achieve a weird type of fame and reverence - it makes me think that being humble only gets you silly things like respect. and who would have respect rather than fame? so it’s no wonder we (as a culture) look at hollywoods and think - "sure wish that was me". but so few of us think of dr.brilliantjeet in somewhere, india and think, "sure wish that was me - minus the unibrow". why are Alisters allowed to crash cars, do drugs, do pornstars, and exhibit selfish behavior so openly, when i'm not even to urinate in public without a $250 fine? not that i'd want to, but i mean... does having a high horse mean having no consequences?...

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#13: how to hit the panic button

most of you have probably heard about the devastation in japan already, but i don't think you heard about it - in the right way. and yes, i know that critiquing anything about a natural disaster this quickly is like pulling off a scab before it’s healed. but the media's coverage of these events always leaves me in a state of helpless anxiety and i’ve always wanted to understand their need to open-palm slam the panic button with such a cemented predisposition. the media has always been a catalyst for spreading panic and over exaggerations, but i've never understood the motivation behind it. maybe the media and the government like to play footsies under the table. and the resulting alarm from their coupling is a means of exploiting the generosity of their citizens. or maybe it's because the...

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#12: how to get distracted

saw a billboard for a pub the other day. had on it a s*ut holding some appetizers ever so near to her giant overexposed bussoms. and i thought to myself, "billboards are completely useless. and i hate them". if i wanted to go to a bar with the atmosphere of a french woman's armpit - i won't need to see a billboard for it, i'll just ask the neighborhood vagrant. "oh, it's a good thing i ordered the chicken wings here.. not only do they taste like a meaty sundried tomato, but are also the worst thing i've ever put in my face.. oh, and i just got chlamydia from this seat". usually they're advertising something i don't want, can't use, or wouldn't want to use after seeing the billboard. i mean, what is the point? don't billboards cost like thousands of $/month? when's the last time you or antone...

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#11: how to be unoriginal

popular music, nowadays, is becoming increasingly unoriginal because copying, synthesizing, and sampling are becoming being chosen in favor of good ol' creativity and hard work. and the main enemy to all of our hearing pleasure is - autotune(ing). think of autotune as mcdonalds for your ears. autotune.. it automatically fixes and smooths out shifts in your pitch and tone - even if you don't have the remotest of abilities to discern pitch or tone. and that seems wrong. just like it's wrong to fill everything with corn and corn byproducts and call it food, because food, it is not. ergo, it's wrong to fill songs with autotunes and synthesized everything. what  happened after bob dylan and  the beatles? where did the emphasis on quality go? because  everything i hear on the radio...

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