#10: how to be worry free. for six minutes.

Pablo lessens his pace and walks slower than usual this morning. Normally it's a sprint to the stop so that he doesn't miss the bus. Though today, he's six minutes early. Pablo makes sure to keep on the grass so he can feel the crunch of the frost under his feet. It's a small victory every time he puts one foot in front of the other - crushing the grass with each step. Pablo is worry free and not sure how to feel about it. Five minutes to seven forty-one a.m. He exhales and watches his breath condense into a small cloud then slowly fade away. He tries to puff out a ring, but it doesn't work. Pablo doesn't smoke. He's no good at doing rings....

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#9: how to chew the fat

like a good stew, this blog entry has been flavoring itself up for the past couple of months. but don't get any ideas. it still might be too salty or darkly-humored for some of you. if that happens to be the case, and you don't understand or like dark humor, sarcasm, or liberocrat(ish) opinionisms - then i hope your eyes don't fall out after reading this. you communist. i know that by saying SMusings was on a hiatus, i'm really saying that i haven't been interesting enough for the last two months. and that's slightly true, but slighlty untrue as well. my last idea for a blog post was going to be about how i prefer to write my blogs in notepad rather than in microsoftword. do i care why? you ask. well - i'll tell you anyway. notepad in many aspects is like an ikea furniture item. chiefly...

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#8: how dog poo can be interesting

there are a lot of things that people hate. but there are only a few things in life that we can all agree on hating. things like: bad drivers, wine and cheese breath, racists, sarahjessicaparker's face, the government... and of course, the show 'toddlers and tiaras'. watching that show was actually less interesting than watching my dog have a poo. well, it wasn't so much uninteresting as it was - wrong. i felt bad for the kids, you know? having to prance around half naked in front of their (ironically fatugly) parents and judges-who look like registered sex offenders. even the amount of make-up on their little faces would be enough to fancy up an entire cirque du soleil cast. and the skills? since when has baton twirling been a skill? calling baton twirling a skill is like calling rodeo a...

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#7: how fanny packs are so uncool

if you've ever worn a fanny pack in public and had someone laugh at you, you deserve it. and if you've had the same reaction after telling someone that you 'love to read', i would again have said you deserve it - until recently. a little while ago, i had the sort of relationship with reading, that old persons have with technology - i didn't understand why it is important or why it is necessary. i thought of reading as tedious and boring. so many words that you can minus by just using a picture instead. usually i just read titles, look at pictures, and make a general assumption about the rest of an article's content. but then, i accidentally stumbled onto a book-reading app on my iphone, and accidentally paid for some books, and accidentally began to enjoy reading them. and so i finally began...

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#6 how to feel good about procrastinating

i'm a procrastinator and i've known it for a long time. i felt that leaving to-dos till the last minute allowed maximum relax time and minimal work time. and honestly, who doesn't want to work less? unless you're a stupid, of course. actually, till recently i believed that procrastination was like trying to lick your own elbows - a pointless practice. but now, i think of procrastination as licking honey-chocolate off of catherine-zeta jones' face. and everyone can agree that honey-chocolate is good. but not if you have too much of it. just like procrastination. my wife is the opposite of a procrastinator - like having a comb-over is the opposite of having dignity. but we don't really clash when things need to get done, because she knows that i'll get it done, eventually. and i...

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#5 how hollywood = ego fail

on her facebook account, my sister recently posted an article which discussed the lawsuit filed, by the producers of the 'the hurt locker', against persons who had downloaded it illegally. i'm all for fairness and equality, but these producers have managed to make me angry. like when pooh doesn't get his honey - angry. in my opinion: the producers are blamimg the poor ticket sales on someone or something else, instead of accepting that the movie wasn't that great. "but saturday musings, the hurt locker won 6 oscars!" yeah you're right, but the oscars make as much sense as the queen of england. like really...what's the point? everyone has respect,...

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#4: how i failed to cure the mo-mo blues

usually i wake up on monday mornings filled with all sorts of emotions. on monday mornings,  i wake up feeling like a swamp-water slushie - of emotion (americans: a swamp-water slushie combines all available flavours. even the ones you don't fancy, like lemon.. blech). a lot of people get the 'mo-mo blues', and so i decided that i was going to be the first to find a cure. eventually i stopped perplexing myself, with flavours and emotions, and decided to get on with my research.. wait-a-minute. you know what? blueberry isn't a good flavour either. it just isn't. i think blueberries are the weirdo cousin of the berry family. no one wants to include them, but you have to - because they're family. i  even bet blueberries  would try and convince cranberries to make out in the closet,...

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#3: how to love your own blog

blogging: it's been a massive revelation. i had no idea of the amount of information and ideas floating about the webernet (via blogs). there are millions of blogs. blogs about any and everything. not that i didn't know that, but now i'm realizing it. i feel so overwhelmed thinking about where my blog stands in all of it. but before you change the channel, because i've thoroughly depressed you already, i promise it will all end on the up and up. i don't think that my blog's content sucks, or that i'm a bad writer, but i don't think that my content has a real purpose. i don't want people to be amused for 1 minute and forget about my blog by the next. i want it to be a water-cooler conversation starter. i want it to be interesting enough to be forwarded or tweeted or digg'd or shared on...

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#2: the revolving identities of readrue.blogspot

i know, i know. there's been a lot of changes to the blog in recent days. but i really feel like i want to make this blog a success. i want it to be relate-able, read-able, and just plain humorous. the blog and its layout are going to keep changing. it's pubescent right now; till it finds its own-true identity. ergo, let me explain why it keeps changing. first: i don't think anyone really wants to read about a normal life, more than once. just like no one wants to sneeze more than once. it gets lame. second: my wife is beginning to lose her will to live because of having to hear repeatedly that i hate *example-of-complaint*. and i don't want her to die of anything else besides old-age. hence, a blog. third: and most important. i always wanted to be a superhero. if i can help someone cope...

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#1: how i can't just eat healthy

brown rice has been thwarting my attempts, all week long, to establish a healthy eating regiment. how hard has it been? ..ever try to balance yourself on your own face? that's how hard it has been. that is also, what she said. in retrospect, i don't actually feel that cooking b.rice is a big deal. i'm just surprised at the level-of-diffculty re: healthy eating. sometimes it's gross to just imagine eating healthily. case and point: eggplant.. it sounds disgusting and probably tastes just as much. but healthy? ..it probably is. i would rather eat myself than eat an eggplant. and in another attempt, i turned to my iPhone for help. 'lose-it' is an app that is supposed to help me record and track my 'goals', in order to encourage my healthy foray. but so far, it's just managed to depress me....

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